Men and women are attracted to different traits in potential
partners. Most men don’t care about women’s professional or educational
achievements. Women care deeply about men’s achievements since these
achievements are a proxy for social status. A socially inept geek
devoid of charm is to women what a fat, physically unattractive woman
is to a man.
Women are hypergamous; that is, they strongly prefer to date up. It
is very rare for a woman to be attracted to a man who is less educated
or has lower social status than herself. Men will happily marry women
of lower status than themselves as long as they are physically
attractive and strong on attractive feminine traits like nurturing. So
as an accomplished woman you are competing with all of attractive
womankind for the top 10% of males in the world. Many of whom, as you
rightly noted, are either married or gay.
With these odds in the dating market a single, high status male is
spoilt for choice. If you’re a man in his late twenties or in his
thirties, kicking ass professionally, charming, socially savvy,
reasonably good looking you have your pick of women in their prime
(early to late-twenties). You’re a rare commodity – the women you’re
able to choose from are not. After all, you mostly care about their
looks and feminine charms – not their diplomas or high-powered
corporate career. In fact a high powered corporate career or a high
partner count (more likely in educated women) is likely to erode the
feminine charms that men with wide-ranging options prize.
So a large pool of women ends up having sex with a small pool of the
most attractive men. Serious commitment from these men will elude all
but the very best looking and grounded women; there is no pressure for
a man to commit while safe in the knowledge that he will be in his
prime for another ten or twenty years and can have fun dating a
glorious variety of women in the meantime. Unfortunately women do not
have this luxury.
Women have become more successful than men in getting top
qualifications. Consequently they’re pricing themselves out of the
dating market. For every step of the ladder women climb, the pool of
feasible men they’ll find attractive shrinks; for every step on the
ladder a man takes the pool of women that find him attractive grows.
It’s especially lonely at the top since women are hard-wired to date
The really sad thing is that women are constantly told to ignore these
truths, often only realising that they’ve been misled when it’s too