San Francisco Sucks

San Francisco is the most absurdly overrated and crappy city in the United States bar none. From prohibitive cost of living to, pretentious closed-minded people masquerading as an open-minded. This post takes a brutally honest look at San Francisco with a collection of complaints!

1) Social scene

San Francisco has become totally dominated by a smug, liberal professional/ managerial class, much of it based on the high-tech sector. An enormous problem with populating a city with people who spent their adolescence getting humiliated in dodgeball is that after they graduate from Cal or Stanford or Penn or Cornell and start working at Bank of America and Hewlett Packard they want to be perceived as winners. But they still feel, deep down at the level where their humanity is, like acne riddled losers. This is a devastating combination. It’s impossible to meet anyone when you go out in “the city” (you’d think it was the only city in the country) because nobody socializes.  The city is extremely cliquish. It could take 2 years to get on the inside of a clique because people are so distant and self preserving and guarded. Everyone has their forcefield up and it is designed to keep you out, along with everyone else they don’t know. My advice would be not to bother. Most people are either too stoned, have nothing to say, or both. Many people are unable to see past their own block and think that their local politics are going to change the world (eyeroll).

2) The people.

You have a revolving cast of starry-eyed youths, wanna-be-mark zuckerbergs, stoners, homeless-on-purpose kids, and hipsters revolving through the city, each assuming they are something special and unique. They create a fake image of what they are so that they can “fit in” with the “different” and then try to surround themselves with people who are equally fake with claims of “uniqueness” and “individuality” they slowly weed out any real personalities from themselves until they are a simple mass of backward social conventions covered in the sent of patchouli.  It gives the city quite a vapid feel.

I’ve never met more shallow, fake, selfish, boring, cold, insular, smug, flaky, passive-aggressive, not in my backyard people in my life. It is like they never learned how to socially interact with others, so they have all of these strange facades that they project to make people think that they are hip/cool/whatever. Additionally, everyone here acts like no one else exists so they have no empathy for others and just do what they want.

3) Too congested.

San Francisco does share with NYC the quality of being too densely populated (as though that were good); however, NYC does not have nearly as many cars. Reason being, the city planners there were forward thinking in that they built the subway system. SF’s public transportation system is horribly broken.

4) Weather

The weather just all around sucks. It’s either cold/foggy or warm with no breeze, and it can be both of those things in the same day, so forget about wearing shorts/sandals all day.

5) Lack of good public transportation.

Getting around the city can be a complete nightmare. BART is fast enough, but if you venture places where BART doesn’t go (which is most of the city), you’re stuck on a bus that travels at an average of 8 miles/hour. Buses are subject to regular traffic.  The frequent parades mean that some routes will just shut down randomly.  Irregular and late timings.  Crackheads and crazies will ensure that your ride is especially miserable. People on BART will straight up just stare at you like you are a sculpture, BART has seats that face each other very close so you can be forced to sit across from a complete stranger like you are having dinner with the person.

6) San Francisco is filthy and has way too many homeless people.

Compared to other ‘world-class’ cities, SF is a dump.  London, NYC, Tokyo, Miami, Amsterdam, Singapore — all make SF look like clowntown. On any given day, in any part of the city (even the relatively gentrified neighborhoods), you are apt to step in dog or human shit on the sidewalk if you’re not careful. In most neighborhoods, you will be woken up in the middle of the night by the drug-and-mental-disease-fueled screams of the homeless. And if you’re anywhere near downtown, you will be assaulted by the smell of human urine and badgered for free change at every street corner and subway entrance. Enough said.

7) Rent in San Francisco is expensive relative to the quality of housing.

Expect to pay well over $1000/month (and probably closer to $2000/month, utilities non-inclusive) if you want to live in a decent place reasonably close to (i.e., less than a 1-hour commute from) downtown. Even at that price the floorboards will creak, the carpet will smell funny, the rooms will be tiny, the stairs too narrow, and the walls/ceilings/floors so thin that you will know exactly what your neighbors are up to at any given point in time.

8) Everything in San Francisco is run-down and dirty.

This is a corollary to [6]. Everything and everybody–from the apartments people pay $2000/month to live in places covered in dog and human feces to the streets littered with garbage to the “quaint” shops lining the streets to most people outside the financial district.

9) Shortage of women.

San Francisco is NOT a nice place for a heterosexual man to date. So many of the women are hideous, androgynous, ultra-liberal feminist with no femininity. Guys start to do crazy things when there aren’t enough girls around. Men here start to think that they need to run marathons, or cook like a chef, or be a DJ, or comedian, or be a billionaire (yes, with a b, millionaires are pretty common) — to get girls.

If you meet any even remotely cute girl, it’s a safe assumption that she has a boyfriend or has an attitude because she is one of few. Put that same girl in LA and she is average, hence no attitude. If you have a girlfriend, it’s a safe assumption that every guy is eyeing her. This creates weird game social dynamics around dating, where guys like me don’t bother to enter the dating pool.

10) Lack of nightlife (music, bars, etc.)

San Francisco gets tons of great shows, yes….but WHO has the money to go see them??? You have to be a millionaire to have a good time in that city. Otherwise you are just struggling and becoming more bitter by the day. Going out to a concert means dropping at LEAST $100, between the ticket, cab ride to and from, and drinks. Cover for special holiday parties (like New Year’s Eve) starts at about $75 and goes up from there. Going out to a bar is just about as bad – expect to pay $8 per drink average (and that’s if you’re going to cheap places!), plus cover, plus at least $40 on cab fare. When you’re struggling to pay your $1000+ rent every month, how can you afford any of that “awesome” night life?

In additional, the city shuts down at 1:30am: Want to party? Make sure you start at 9pm and leave by 1am if you want to make it home in a cab.

And to be honest, I never experienced anything in SF nightlife that was any different than any other city, big or small. I can go out in Lawrence, KS, spend less than $20, get home easily, and have a great time!

11) So-so bike infrastructure.

I pretend that it’s safe to bike around the city, but it’s really not.  Most streets are bumpy and potholed to hell and there’s not room to ride on them.  It’s sketchy, but it beats trying to bus it by a long shot.

I could probably go on and on, but I will just wrap this up by noting some things I will never take for granted again:  Being able to park most places for free.  Actually being able to find parking! (There are actually MORE cars in SF than parking spaces!!  Which means if you are unlucky enough to be looking for parking when most people are home, say, when you get off work at 3am, you are out of luck).  $3 parking tickets (as opposed to $65 in SF).  Not having to move my car every 2 hours/move for the street cleaner.  FRIENDLY PEOPLE.  A strong middle class (SF has no middle class to speak of).  Cheap drinks.  Good friends who aren’t total pretentious fakers.  Good friends who don’t feel the need to constantly “out-cool” each other. Comparatively cheap rent and groceries.

A lot of people move to San Francisco just to say they are better than everyone else. I would say the opposite, if you move to San Francisco it will probably make you smug and lacking in creativity, just like the majority of the people there.

  • http://www.daendeleon.com Daen de Leon

    The kind of mind that thinks that this sort of whiny nonsense makes for any kind of valid complaint is unlikely to make friends, ever, anywhere. This is just a litany of over-privileged pointless moaning (“I biked home from my friend’s house and got very wet.” No-one sympathizes with that kind of petulant foot-stamping. “SAN FRANCISCO IS EVIL BECAUSE CYCLISTS GET RAINED ON THERE!!11!!!! NOT LIKE oh actually, every city in a temperate climate”).

    Here’s an idea: if you don’t like the manifold aspects of San Francisco’s undoubtedly ragged charm (which several million people do, hipster and otherwise) then don’t live there. You obviously had a bad time in SF. Now go and have a bad time somewhere else.

    • http://khram.com La Boite Diabolique

      Here’s your argument in a nutshell: “zomg check ur privilege!!11″

      Unfortunately, most of what was written in this blog post is true. San Francisco is smelly, crime-ridden, full of homless people, and rich hipsters who wouldn’t give you the time of day. I know, because I used to live there. You know what San Francisco’s old pastime is? Talking about itself. This is a sure sign of a disgusting city lacking self-confidence, most likely caused by the dodgeball abuse mentioned in this blog.

      NYC has many of these same problems, but I’ll tell you who doesn’t: LA. Chicago too. Two big bustling cities full of nice people that like making friends.

    • Prin Pufflestuff

      Ok…look…several million people live in the Bay Area. About a 825K people live in SF. For what it’s worth MORE PEOPLE live in San Jose than SF proper. Stop pretending SF is a bigger city than it is. It’s a small little city with big pretty buildings…and it’s great and everything…but it’s relatively small. Comparing it to larger cities like LA or NYC is absurd and missing the point. Otherwise I agree with you, if you don’t like the vibe in this area…go somewhere else. SF is not NY, LA, London, Paris, Tokyo…etc…and it’s not supposed to be. It’s supposed to be exactly what it is. If you want to pretend you’re important in a club with silicon injected girls falling all over themselves to drink with you….go to NY or LA…honestly…you don’t belong here anyway.

      • admin

        So what exactly is it suppose to be then? A shitty little city? Lol

  • admin

    Oh look, a non-passive Danish guy. This is rare, as most Danish women do not like outspoken guys.

    See: http://www.rooshv.com/danish-girls-are-the-most-masculine-in-the-world

    Seriously, whiny nonsense is probably what this guy hears everytime he opens his mouth over there. So naturally, he hates men who freely express themselves.

  • Andy

    WOW amazing love this . THS IS SOOOO TRUE! thanks!

  • H.

    Great post, this made me laugh several times because … IT’S ALL TRUE. I lived in the Bay Area for most of my life and spent quite a bit of it up in SF .. I think it may have been different in the late 80′s/early 90′s but now it just flat out sucks. As sucky as SF is, the rest of Silicon Valley is even worse.

    I read somewhere some guy called it “City of Sixes”, and that’s about right. I got the hell out of there a few years back .. best move I ever made. =)

  • Leewood

    After spending some extended time in the random bars, eateries, and cafes of San Francisco recently, I concluded that if you were a straight woman looking for a masculine, alpha male in a liberal coastal city, you’d be out of luck.

    The humorous irony in San Francisco is that all semblance of manliness has been relegated to the gay male community who strive for the male ideal but come off as a sort of caricature of masculinity.

  • sdafe

    Why do you live in sf?

  • http://collapseofman.wordpress.com Arred Wade

    Wahhhh

  • Pingback: Cultural differences between Northern and Southern California | Twilight of the Idols

  • http://Spoton WizenedMan

    This post was brillz! It baffles my mind that San Fran maintains its sterling reputation. It is THE WURRRRRRST. To those who haven’t lived in the city, the homeless part may sound like an exaggeration, but IT IS NOT. Not only do people accost you constantly and aggressively (literally grabbing your arms insisting you either pay them or give them the sandwich you are currently eating…seriously) but equally as often I found that I encountered people who, at first glance, seemed pretty ok…but then would start screaming and slapping themselves and making a scene intermittently. Harrowing. It felt like a zombie movie. Another trend was people asking me if I wanted to buy drugs, all the time. I could go on. Anyway, thanks for the post. Whoever does SF’s PR is a genius.

    • Prin Pufflestuff

      Maybe you don’t understand that our crappy state government dumped all our mentally compromised out on the street decades ago as part of their “compassion” for the mentally ill and they congregate in SF because it’s one of the few places that has a fair amount of programs for them. On the one hand it sucks…I have not loved…for example…getting attacked by someone that should probably be in a facility with a razor scooter just trying to get to work…on the other hand…if you know why things are the way they are…you step back and realize…hey this isn’t just about me and the people are here because there’s nowhere else for them to go and screwed up state politics keep them from being locked up. Anyway….it’s still better than Nevada dumping their mentally challenged here…which…oh…BTW…happens. SF has always been rough since the 50s or so…actually it’s nothing new. To tell you the truth…it’s way less violent, dirty and sketchy than it was in the 70s and 80s. Know where to walk and where not to walk and for the most part…you’ll be ok. I actually don’t know too many other major cities that don’t have that problem. It’s not like SF is huge…it’s a micro-metropolis in my estimation…and that’s probably why average city problems get magnified here.

  • Jennifer

    THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! Thank you so much for writing this. I have lived in San Francusco for almost two years now. I can completely relate to your experience. I moved here expecting to encounter an open and truly diverse city. I have found out that not to be the case. I thought it was just me.

  • CS201142

    This is so spot on! I moved a little over a year ago been trying to be happy here or even marginally content but I’ve just given up. I’m bankrupting myself on rent for a tiny studio, my 5 mile commute on Muni is over an hour each way and I can’t afford to buy a car (even if I wanted one) because of my rent. I’m from Washington, D.C.!!! It’s not exactly cheap or uncrowded there and it is so much worse here. And I made a lot of friends there and basically every other place I’ve lived, including overseas. In San Francisco, it’s been impossible for me to connect with anyone. I’m going back to DC as fast as I can. If you love it here, great. Maybe your life is vastly different than mine.

  • Andy Umbo

    You forgot to tell about the people working in Pacific rim finance or mutual funds. Secretaries make ten times what they’d make in Chicago for doing the same thing, and they all own Sonoma property too. This gives them a really false sense of their worth to general society. Just spent hours of my life last night at a party, listening to privileged white people gossip about someone’s condo rehab schedule being too tight! Really? Out of every place I’ve been in the U.S., San Francisco truly is the worst when it comes to people who think their value to society is great, but who are really just a waste of space. Glad I don’t live here. It’s so prevalent, I found this site by googling “San Francisco Sucks” because I couldn’t believe how bad it is. Believe me, it is NOT the Paris of America!

    • Prin Pufflestuff

      That’s because of the relative cost of living. I doubt they make 10 times more and even if they did…so what…that’s what the market dictates. Relative to what we are in the scope of the universe…everyone’s a worthless pile of dung on this planet. And so?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003143755491 Jl P Michel

    You nailed it! Everything you state in your article is true.

    I lived in SF for a few years and could not wait to get the hell out of there! I had a good paying job and house and friends, but the city was anything but that. There was no city life or convenience to it at all. After taking MUNI for a few months, I purchased a truck and paid $400/month to park in downtown where I worked! MUNI is the worst transportation system in the country. Prior to living in SF, I had lived in NY and LA. NY MTA deals with millions of more riders and does not have a fraction of the issues MUNI does.

    The people in SF are flat-out stupid-ass granola idiots! They complain about companies being too big, too successful, and protest if a successful company such as Chipotle wants to rent the empty space on Church and Market, which has been empty for years. They cry that Chipotle will force a small ghetto ass whole in the wall ma and pa place to go out of business. Well, if the ma and pa business had a good product and service, they would have nothing to worry about. The mentality of the granola idiots in SF is lame! There are villages in the middle of the U.S. that have more of a city feel than SF ever will!

    I am so glad I moved back to L.A. SF…go F yourself!